It can be an isolating and painful initiation into motherhood for women who plan a homebirth and end up transferring to hospital. Depending on the reason, the outcomes, and the decision-making process it can illicit complex feelings of shame, guilt, disappointment, and betrayal. Not only do women whose homebirth dreams have been unactualised have to process these thoughts and feelings personally as they adjust to their new role as mother (of one or two or more…) but often also more publicly within their broader social networks. What went wrong, who’s to blame and the assumption of a negative experience from well-meaning friends and acquaintances can make this rite of passage lonely, disregarded and silenced both outside of and within the homebirth community.
This is my story.
One of deeply held grief and shame, of power and strength. A story of loss and triumph, of pain and sacrifice. But mine is not a story of trauma, as it is for so many. As a community we need to create space for these stories of transformation for women who have not failed or been failed, but who have faced their biggest fears and emerged brave, whole, courageous. Our stories don’t align with the cultural narrative, necessary for challenging the biomedical status quo, that with the best support and in the best of environments birth always works as it should, or could.
This is not just my story. We too are part of the homebirth community.